my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
