We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The best revenge is premature balding
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
