i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
