i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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