Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
