We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
