I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
