in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
