Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
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We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
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I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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