That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
