the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
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Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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