It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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