Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
