I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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