Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
