i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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