You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
