You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
