I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
