I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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