You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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