I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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