We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
