oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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