im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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