She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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