...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
