I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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