its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
