She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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