Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Terrible idea I love it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
