Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
