so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
