oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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