I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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