She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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