i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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