How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Say something about gay babies.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
