Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
