The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i believe in u and ur pee
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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