dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize