The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize