I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
