It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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