Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
