Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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