You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
