I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize