You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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