I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
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Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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