member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
