wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize