I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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