Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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