I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
