He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
