D3 body, D1 cock
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
