I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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