you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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