Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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