i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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