arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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