on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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