oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize