I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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