the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
