i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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